Wow... whatta week.  Yesterday was the last day of the competition and we did two shows.  One at the Little Fox in Redwood City.  The other at the Crow's Nest in Santa Cruz.

We had a better than we thought crowd at the Fox.  2pm is tough for comedy, but they were into it.  I did some ring material and "Get Any" and had a great set.  Didn't place in the top of 5 course, but I wasn't expecting to at this point.  My only goal was to not come in last. :)

And I wasn't last.  My 8th place finish the night before took me to 13 out of 16 overall.  I had a good set at the Fox.  Everyone was starting to loosen up a bit.  We pretty much knew who would go on to the semi-finals already.

Now the Crow's Nest is a notoriously difficult venue.  Talkative crowds, hecklers galore... a real challenge.  This was the best show anyone has ever seen there.  The crowd was attentive and great laughers.  This is a Sunday night show that has been going on for 13 years now.  And the last 5 have been a test of wills for most every comic there.  But last night was outstanding. 

The MO was having fun last night.  Even more so than the rest of the week.  There's no comedy too harsh at the Crow's Nest, so we let fly.  I did some internet porn material and then had a rousing singalong with "Asshole".  Great, fun set... And I was only the 2nd comic of the night.  Everyone without fail had great sets last night. 

The judges tended toward the cleaner comics of the night in their votes.  Which is unfortunate since that didn't jive with what the audience wanted and liked.  But whatever. 

Overall, it was an agonizing week of performances, balanced out by meeting great new performers from all over the country.  Shannon Gettins was snapping pictures all week, so I'll have some to show you soon.  Cuz I'll tell you, backstage was more fun than onstage this week. :)

It was a good experience for me though.  I learned a bit more about who I am and where I'm at as a comic.  And it's the kind of pain that makes you stronger. :)

Back to some regular shows this week.  City Beach in Fremont on Wednesday.  Then a big show with Chris Valenti at the Morgan Hill Playhouse on Thursday.  That's one of our favorite venues and the bookers have given us the whole show to do our thing.  :)

Yay... I get to do more than 5 minutes of comedy again. :)

Phil Johnson
www.RoadsideAttraction.com

Thinking is deadly......Certainly to any performer.  And yet it's the one thing we all battle against.  Being up in our head's during a performance leads to a crap performance.

So, after my debacle in show 2 I opted to do two things.  First, do a song.  Get back to myself a bit.  Second, after my discussion with Dave Reinitz about the puzzle I present an audience, I wrote some new material about being different from the other comics.  And boy, was I up in my head.  New material in a competition?  Was I crazy... Somewhat.

The crowd dug most of the new lines. And I finally got a good opener I can use for awhile now.  Something I've been struggling with for a couple years.  I did a little bit of my engagement ring bit and it did ok.  And then I whipped out "Get Any', a song that almost never fails for me.  I said 'almost'....

For some reason this crowd didn't quite get it.  They laughed, but not nearly as hard as my normal audiences.  And I don't suppose it helped that I was going on last.  16 comics is a lot for anyone to sit through.  But it was certainly my most genuine set of the competition so far.  It also resulted in my lowest score yet.

So, plan D for tonight's show in Stockton.. Hit them with loud and dirty.  That was the plan until I got on stage.  I had spoken with some people in the audience before the show, and I just got the vibe that I'd need to warm them up for the dirty.  So instead of talking about porn and then doing "Asshole", I ended up doing a little ring material, then doing "LCW".  And they weren't on board with the song at first, but I got them.  And I hammed up the end just like the stuff I was doing 4 years ago when I stumbled into this comedy stuff.  And it was my best set yet.  I didn't place, but I don't think I'm in last place anymore.  Mission accomplished.

I'm definitely in over my head on this one.  I'm trying to compete against people that have their own tv specials and headline huge clubs nationally.  So, it's a learning experience.  Tearing down the weaker walls to build stronger ones.

I never recommend that anyone be a performing artist.  We're always told that it's not that people don't like us, it's the material, or the song, or they just don't relate.  But we need not take it personally.  But as every performer knows, we're up there laying our souls on the line every night.  Baring our inner thoughts to a room full of complete strangers hoping they'll find something to connect with.  We walk a fine line and when you fall off, there are distinct emotional injuries.  But as we all know, pain makes great comedy.  

Two more shows to go....

Phil Johnson
www.RoadsideAttraction.com

So, last night's SF Comedy Comp show was at the Black Oak Casino in Tuolumne, CA.  I have to say, I'm really enjoying the whole thing and hating it at the same time...

The show was good... All strong comics that I'm fine with losing to. :)  If you haven't guessed, I didn't place in the top five at this show either.  However 4 of the top 5 were completely different from the first show. 

So was the audience.  Instead of the hip, smart, young college crowd from Berkeley, we had a much older more blue collar crowd.  One of the themes that keeps popping up in my life is that I don't fit in with crowd's easily.  And that makes doing short 5 minute sets difficult. 

In my mind it was because people don't like me at first.  But my friend and fellow comic Dave Reinitz put it a different way on the ride home today.  He said I'm a puzzle to them.  Not that they don't like me, they just don't understand what I'm about until further in the show.  Which explains why I can win a crowd over with an hour show, but doing 5 minutes is tricky.  He used the example of Jacob Sirof, another friend and comic.  Jacob comes on stage and tells the crowd right off that he's a nerd.  Boom, job done.  Crowd knows where he's coming from.

What perplexes me, and apparently my audience, is how to define the fact that I don't define myself as a single thing.  Especially when, as an entertainment character, that's an important thing. 

So I'll be flipping my script a little bit tonight at the Marin Civic Center.  Again, a different audience.  Older crowd, more affluent, and different tastes once again.  And once again my job is to define myself and find a common ground with my audience that we can explore.  It's that connection that makes a performance work.  The being funny is the easy (easier) part.

Phil Johnson
www.RoadsideAttraction.com

Well, just got home from the first night of the competition in Berkeley.  It was a fun show.  The comics are all quite good and I feel like I'm in good company. 

Some of them are friends, Grant Lyon, Moshe Kasher, Alysia Woods, Dave Reinitz... And others are new friends. 

Here's the not so big secret about these comedy competitions.  All the comics think they're dumb.  But we do them because they look good on the resume if you win. 

Tonight, my streak goes unbroken.  Grant Lyon came in first.  Moshe took 3rd.  I'm spacing on other names, but I'll know them by the end of the week.  I'm terrible with names. :)

I did have a decent set though.  Did my NASCAR and Testosterone Babies bits.  NASCAR went well til I realized that college kids don't know what a douche is...  They probably think it's a frat boy... Which is true, but that's not the sense I use it in.  I'm switching things up a little tomorrow night.  We're at a casino in Nowhere, California and it should be a cleaner show...

So I'm 0 for 2 on competitions this week.  But I got some free pizza, so it's not a total loss. :)

Until the next report...

Phil Johnson
www.RoadsideAttraction.com

I don't think I'm alone among comics when I say that I don't enjoy doing comedy competitions... I think it's needless stress and needless competition among people that need to be working with each other, not against....

Besides, what other occupation do you have contests where the prize is more work? 

"Hey, whoever sells the most pizzas this week... Gets to sell more pizza!"

But here we are... Up and coming comedians looking for a little more time in the spotlight.....

Let me give you a little background on my competition history as a comedian.  I've never won one... Not even ever gotten past the preliminaries...  Yep, I can entertain a comedy audience for an hour or more as a paid professional, but for some reason I don't translate in a 5 minute set. 

So this week, I'm spending Tuesday through Sunday in comedy competitions.  Last night was the annual San Jose Improv competition.  And so far my record is unbroken.  They took the top 3 out of 7 comics performing.  And I'm pretty sure I came in 5th.  Maybe 4th.  So that's one down.

Tonight I begin my run in the San Francisco Int'l Comedy Competition.  5 nights, 6 shows.  And I'll be performing with comics from all over the country.  Since they only admit 30 comics per year, it's nice to be included.  I couldn't get in last year.  This year I was invited.  So, to quote Susan Lucci... It's just nice to be nominated. :)

What will happen?  Well, if my 0 and 1000 record has anything to say about it, I don't plan on coming in first. :)  But then again, I don't really care either. 

- I get to meet some great new comics from around the country
- I get to do shows for big crowds in big venues
- I get to perform in front of some industry folks who will notice me even if I don't win
- Not winning means I won't have to cancel some well paid shows I've got coming up that conflict with the semi and final rounds.

So lemons into lemonade into a watersports video...  Tonight's first round is at the Bear's Lair at the UC Berkeley campus.  I'll let you know what happens tomorrow morning.

Phil Johnson
www.RoadsideAttraction.com

The world's oldest recorded joke has been traced back to
1900BC and suggests toilet humour was as popular with the ancients as
it is today.

It is a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now
southern Iraq and goes: "Something which has never occurred since time
immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."

It heads the world's oldest top 10 joke list published by the University of Wolverhampton.
A 1600 BC gag about a pharaoh, said to be King Snofru, comes second
– "How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young
women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh
to go catch a fish."

The oldest British joke dates back to the 10th Century and reveals
the bawdy face of the Anglo-Saxons – "What hangs at a man's thigh and
wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? Answer: A key."

"Jokes have varied over the years, with some taking the question and
answer format while others are witty proverbs or riddles," said the
report's writer Dr Paul McDonald, senior lecturer at the university.

"What they all share however, is a willingness to deal with taboos
and a degree of rebellion. Modern puns, Essex girl jokes and toilet
humour can all be traced back to the very earliest jokes identified in
this research."

The study was commissioned by television channel Dave. The top 10 oldest jokes can be viewed at www.dave-tv.

The filming of my new comedy DVD on Saturday was a great success!  The room was jam packed with happy laughing people and the show went off without a hitch.

And with the bonus of the air conditioner not working, everyone probably lost a few pounds too. :)

Sammy Obeid opened up the show and slayed the room.  Sammy has improved as a performer so much in the last couple months and I had to have him open. 

One of my favorite Sammy lines, "I'm a Buddhist because Buddha is a true American.  He's totally obese and totally ok with it."

And I had a mighty good set, if I do say so myself. :)  It was fun to have so many supporters there to laugh and cheer me on. :)

We're starting post-production this week.  Probably an early September release.  And of course everyone at the show will be getting their free copy mailed to them then. 

If you missed the show, catch it in September on DVD!

Phil Johnson
www.RoadsideAttraction.com

As many problems as I've had with drummers over the years, you have to admire their athleticism.

A scientist has agreed with me on that one.... If you've ever seen a drummer play for hours on end... or smelled on after... you know how hard these guys work.  Now according to science, they're on par with Olympians.

http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline/2008/07/drummers-likene.html

Apparently parents today think they're naming bands...  Check out this story of poor Talula Does The Hula (no kidding, that's her name).  And the poor kid someone tried to name Sex Fruit. 

Idiots...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080724/ap_on_re_au_an/new_zealand_bizarre_names

According to the new book "Sex, Sleep, Eat. Drink, Dream" by Jennifer Ackerman, the top three things that can reduce stress are music, laughter, and companionship. 

Music triggers endorphins and lowers blood pressure.  Both music and humor activate your brain's mesolimbic regions, the same dopamine-rich areas triggered by alcohol and mind-altering drugs.

And scientists are now confirming that people with strong social networks cope better with stress, heart disease, immunity, and brain function.

So, a Phil Johnson show isn't just a show... It's a scientifically proven way of making your life better.  I'm going to go get an American Medical Association approval now. :)